


It’s Nice To Have a Friend

by crankygirl



Series: It’s Nice To Have a Friend [1]
Category: CrankGameplays - Fandom, Crankiplier - Fandom, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Ethan Nestor - Freeform, M/M, Mark Fischbach - Freeform, Songfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:42:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28518831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crankygirl/pseuds/crankygirl
Summary: Basically, I heard this Taylor Swift song and my mind immediately wrote out a story. Ethan & Mark just happen to “play the roles” well enough in my brain.
Relationships: Crankiplier, Mark Fischbach & Ethan Nestor, Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor
Series: It’s Nice To Have a Friend [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2089113
Comments: 5
Kudos: 51





	1. The Day We Met

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic ever. I have absolutely no idea when I’ll be updating. I have to get this story out of my head though.

I stand at the bus stop with my headphones in, digging the toe of my shoe in the grass just to have something to do. I’ve already checked my watch like five times. The bus should be here any minute. My inner monologue is repeatedly telling me not to be nervous. It’s not really a big deal or anything, just the first day of high school. It’s really not all that special when you think about it. I’ve gone to school with these same kids for years. So why do I feel sick to my stomach? Oh right. It might have something to do with the fact that I’m a nobody. 

You see, i’ve never really fit in. Not that I really care or even want to for that matter. I was never interested in sports or anything, unless you count gymnastics.. which of course most other guys my age don’t. I’d rather spend my time inside playing video games, which I guess isn’t really uncommon, but i’d also just rather be alone. Or maybe i’m just afraid to put myself out there. That’s what my mom tells me anyways. I’m “shy” or some shit like that. Which is a fancy way of saying I don't really have friends. 

It’s not like I’m bullied at school or anything. I’m actually ignored. It’s a blessing and a curse. I mean I’d much rather eat lunch alone in the art room than spend my lunch with my head shoved down a toilet or something... do bullies still do that? Anyways, I only have one person I even consider a "friend" at school. Mika. She’s the coolest girl I know. She’s super outgoing and friends with everyone. Including me. But because she’s everyone’s friend I hardly see her. Seeing her would mean having to see other people. No thanks.

Instead, I spend my time alone. It’s not as miserable as it probably sounds. I’m very good at entertaining myself. Sometimes I draw in my notebooks. Or I’ll sit in class and daydream. I make up scenes in my head like a movie. Sometimes I daydream about my life and my future, but most of the time it’s about random scenarios and fictional characters. Like now! Currently I’m thinking about how an entire movie could be made around just Darth Vader’s backstory. In my head I picture a montage of Vader rising to power as a ruthless tyrant, sabering the heads off anyone who stands in his way. I was really focused on visualizing it just right. 

I guess that’s why I jumped when I heard an over enthusiastic “hi!” from right behind me. I turn around, ripping the headphones out of my ears, and standing there is some kid i’ve never seen before. He’s about my height with long black hair and tan skin. Looking down I realized he was sticking his hand out for me to shake. My brain was screaming at me to either run away or shake his hand, but I was just stuck there awkwardly staring at him. I couldn’t help it. It was so odd to suddenly have someone else at my bus stop. I live on a dirt road with only three other houses and I was pretty sure I knew every neighbor. All of them were old and their kids were grown, some as old as my parents. 

“Hi” I finally managed to say much too quietly as the word got stuck in my throat. I still forgot to shake his hand. 

He dropped his hand but smiled the most genuine smile i’d ever seen for someone who’s handshake just got completely rejected. 

“My name’s Mark. I just moved here. Into that blue house right there.” He said as he gestured at the house that used to belong to the Robertson’s. I started to put the pieces together. Mr. Robertson passed away last year and Mrs. Robertson had told my mom she wanted to move to a retirement community in Florida. Looks like she finally did. I racked my brain trying to remember any moving trucks coming or going on our tiny dirt road this summer but I couldn’t remember anything. Granted, I didn’t leave my house that much this summer... I was busy from the time I woke up (at like 12 pm) to the time I fell asleep (at like 5 am) playing video games. A lot of good games had come out this year and now that Andrew had moved out I could play them on the big TV in the living room. 

“Ethan” I said nodding once. I cringed internally. Why am I so bad at this. But nonetheless Mark smiled again. Or maybe he just didn’t stop. I’m not sure. Thankfully, before he or I could say anything else the bus pulled up and came to a stop right in front of us. I had never been so thankful to hear those loud ass squealing brakes. Mark was closer to the bus door but when we got to it he stopped and gestured for me to go first. I mumbled a quick “thanks” and tried not to look dumb walking up the stairs. 

When I got to my seat, the one directly behind the bus driver, I immediately put my headphones back in. I watched discretely as Mark continued on to the back of the bus. He immediately started introducing himself to some of the kids back there. They were probably seniors, I might add! Though I guess I don’t really know how old Mark is. He looked like he might be a few years older than me. Either way, I am so shocked by his confidence and effortless way of talking to people, that I continue to stare for a bit. I started to feel myself getting slightly irritated for some reason, so I turned my music back on and took a deep breath. The momentary relief I felt when the bus pulled up was gone at this point. My stomach was turning again as I prepared myself for the first day of high school.


	2. The Day We Met Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can’t stop writing this story. So here’s another chapter. lol

Honestly, my first day wasn’t going too bad. Mika sat with me at lunch, which was unexpected. I hadn’t seen her all summer and she looked different from last year. Still gorgeous of course, but she had definitely filled out. I’m not sure I would’ve noticed if it hadn’t been for the fact that all the other guys sitting around us kept looking at her. It was kind of annoying and I secretly wished Mika had sat with a different friend. I hated that all the eyes were on us. Regardless, we spent the time catching up, and by catching up I mean she talked and I ate a sandwich. 

I was headed to my last class of the day, Art 1, when I saw him again. Mark. He was also headed in the direction of the art room joking with two guys who I had absolutely no doubt were on the football team. They had the cliché varsity jackets and everything. I buried my face in my books and hoped they wouldn’t notice me. I’m not sure why I was so nervous. It’s not like Mark would say anything to me anyways right? Nope. Wrong. 

“Hey Ethan!” I heard from ahead of me. 

I winced and looked up from pretending to read something really interesting on the cover of my geometry book. I waved at him awkwardly. Thankfully his friends kept walking down the hall. 

“Are you here for Art 1?” He asked with a grin on his face. I nodded. 

“Me too! Sit with me?” he requested, animatedly. I stared at him again. Dumbfounded. Who the hell is this guy anyways? I’ve never met anyone like him. He really just waltzed in this school and decided to be popular or something? Is that even allowed? And if popularity is what he’s going for, someone should probably tell him sitting with me isn’t going to help. 

At this point I realized it had been a few beats too long and I should’ve answered by now. “Uh, um, yeah sure” tumbles out of my mouth before I can really think about it. He smiles his super genuine smile again. He has really nice teeth. He pulls open the door to the art classroom and holds it open gesturing me inside. I rush past him and look into the room hoping there won’t be two open spots next to each other. Wishful thinking. I start heading towards the first empty table when I feel a hand on my forearm. 

“Lets sit back here” Mark says pulling me to the table at the very back of the room. One thing about me, I have terrible eyesight. I’ve always sat at the front of every class. Even after I finally got glasses, I never sat in the back of a classroom. Ever. I suddenly felt very nervous about being stuck back there with Mark. Everyone knows your first day seat is typically the seat you have for the rest of the year, unless you get forcibly moved by the teacher. Mark seemed determined though, so I didn’t say anything. 

When we sat down I put my backpack on the floor but Mark immediately threw his stuff on the table. It scattered across the entire table top. He wasn’t carrying a backpack. I noticed that the notebooks looked old and used. He had a black pen tucked behind his ear and I’m pretty sure that was his only writing utensil. I suddenly felt self-conscious about the way my backpack was packed with a binder, notebooks, pencils, pens, and even multiple colors of highlighters. 

At this point I realized it was probably pretty obvious I was analyzing him, so I turned to the front of the room and stared straight ahead. I was hoping the teacher would start soon, but she was talking to another student at her desk. 

“So, are you a freshman?” I heard Mark question. 

“Yep.” I responded. 

There was a slight pause. “Not very talkative are you?” 

I looked at Mark. I wasn’t really sure how to respond. It didn’t really seem like he was accusing me. It seemed like he was genuinely curious. “Not really” I finally said. 

“And why is that?” He said with a grin that was eerily similar to the one he gave me when he asked if I was in the same class. 

Another pause. “Um, don’t really know what to say I guess?” I felt like I was being rude but I didn’t know how to act. Most people would’ve given up by now. Mark, however, was clearly not most people. 

“Say anything. I mean seriously, I could talk about anything. The paint color in here. What you had for dinner last night. My dog, Chica. Anything.” He said. God, will he ever wipe that stupid grin off his face?

“Um, what grade are you in?” I mentally berated myself for that question being the only thing I could come up with in the moment. 

“I’m a junior.”

“Oh. Cool.” It was at this point I was begging myself to show any sort of social skills at all. 

Mark kept looking at me. “What’s there to do around here?” 

I snorted. “Absolutely nothing. I mean why did you move to Maine anyways?” It came out more accusingly than I wanted it to, but Mark didn’t seem to notice. 

“Some of my family is here. My dad just passed away, so my mom moved here to be closer to the rest of the family.” 

I immediately felt absolutely terrible for asking. “Oh. I’m sorry” I said feeling shitty. 

“Nah it’s okay” Mark said, but I could tell it was not okay. Or at least he wasn’t. 

The teacher finally started to teach and we didn’t really talk after that. By the end of the class I had convinced myself Mark hated me now and I was going to be sitting somewhere else tomorrow. That was until he spoke up. 

“Do you ride the bus home?” He asked without looking at me. 

“Uh, yeah.” I mumbled. 

“Walk with me?” 

I turned, completely facing him. I looked him up and down trying to read his body language. What the hell was going on? He wasn’t looking at me, but other than that he seemed like he was fine. I was so confused at this point, but I couldn’t handle being rude again. So I said “yeah... of course.” He smiled. 

So we walked to the bus together. We didn’t talk at all, but it was a comfortable silence. When we got to the bus he gestured for me to get on first again, so I did. I went straight to my seat behind the bus driver and I watched as he walked to the back of the bus again. I tried to convince myself I wasn’t disappointed that he didn’t sit with me.


	3. The Day We Exchanged Numbers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still writing. This is very therapeutic for me.

The next morning I hear Mark coming before I see him. He’s whistling. I didn’t wear my headphones today because I thought maybe Mark would want to chat at the bus stop. I was right. 

“Good Morning Ethan” He says cheerily. 

I’m determined to make a better impression today. “Hey” I say back and attempt to actually put a smile on my face instead of just staring at him. 

“How was your night?” He asks.

“Uh, pretty good.” I say before quickly remembering I should try to continue the conversation and add “I already had a bunch of homework, so that sucked.” 

Mark seemed taken aback by my effort, but he didn’t mention it. “Yeah, high school sucks. What’d you have?”

“Geometry.” 

“Oh I loved Geometry. Let me know if you ever need any help with homework.” Mark offered. 

“Okay. Thanks.” I said back. The chances of me ever asking him to tutor me were nearly zero, but it was a nice offer. 

That was when the bus pulled up. The routine nearly followed the day before exactly. Mark was closer to the bus door but when we got to it, he stopped and gestured for me to go first again. And when I sat in my seat behind the bus driver, Mark continued on to the back of the bus. I watched him walk almost all the way back when some girl nearly yanked him down into her seat. I turned around quickly so he wouldn’t notice that I saw it happen. But I could tell before turning around that he looked slightly uncomfortable. Guess there is a first time for everything. 

At lunch I was sitting alone listening to music when suddenly the whole table shifted with the force of someone throwing themselves into the seat next to me. I looked over and there sits Mika with wild eyes and a huge smile. I pull out my headphones and before I can even ask her what she’s so excited about she goes “Did you know there is a HOT new guy?”

I don’t know how to tell her as freshman we are also “new,” so I don’t. I let out a very intelligent sounding, “huh?,” and Mika gives me a look. 

“Mark! Have you met him? He’s gorgeous, smart, and he’s already made it on the football team! I guess he was the quarterback at his old school last year as a SOPHOMORE!” She gushed. 

“Yeah, he’s my neighbor.” I say as nonchalantly as I can manage. But in my head I was wondering why it was such a big deal to everyone else. I mean sure, it’s a small town and we’ve all known each other for a long time. My mom runs the youth group at the Methodist in town so even if i didn’t know some of these kids personally, i’d heard about a lot of them. But did it matter? Why was everyone acting like some celebrity moved here? He’s just a normal guy. I mean sure, he’s charismatic and good-looking... 

“HE’S YOUR NEIGHBOR?” Mika shrieked, interrupting my train of thought. 

“Yeah? So?” I respond. I’m actually confused at this point. 

“Damn. Can I come over soon?” Mika joked. Or at least I think she was joking. She had never been over at my house before. 

“I guess.” 

“Okay! I’ll text you later. Bye Ethan!” And with that she hopped up from the table and skipped away leaving me bewildered. Apparently, she wasn’t joking. I ate the rest of my lunch in silence trying to listen to the guys at the table next to me talk about the new kid who kicked ass at football. 

When the end of the day came around I was dreading going to Art. I don’t know why, but I was so nervous to be around Mark. If he’s really the absolute god everyone was making him out to be, I did not want to be seen associating with him. That would mean other people might start asking me questions about him or something, which I wouldn’t even be able to answer because I’m shit at holding a conversation with him. So when I walked into the classroom and he was noticeably absent I huffed out a sigh of relief. Maybe he got transferred out of the class. I thought it was a bit odd that a junior was in Art 1 yesterday...

But then I froze. Do I sit at the table we sat at in the back? Would it seem like I was waiting for him? Fuck. Finally, I decided I hate the back of the classroom anyways and if Mark wasn’t forcing me to sit back there I wouldn’t. So I sat at an empty table in the middle of the room. The teacher began teaching immediately. 

About ten minutes into the class, someone opened the door and walked in like they owned the place. Who? Well none other than Mark of course. The teacher shot him a look of disapproval. 

“Hey, sorry I’m late Ms. Jones, Coach Scott wanted to talk to me after class. He said to tell you it won’t happen again.” 

Ms. Jones rolled her eyes and nodded, telling Mark to find his seat. 

Mark turned to head to the back of the class and all the eyes in the classroom started following him. Including mine. That was until he spotted me and stopped right in front of the table I was at. He smiled and sat down next to me, throwing all his stuff onto the table the way he had yesterday. I swear everyone in the classroom was looking at us. I dropped my eyes to the table and tried to ignore the sudden heat on my face. 

“How’s your day going?” He asked from beside me after everyone had turned back to the white board. 

I lifted my head from it’s locked position and gawked at him.

“What?” He asked. 

I didn’t know what to say. I felt obligated to tell him that I was probably hurting his reputation. “Mark...I don’t think you should sit with me.” I managed to squeak out. He looked confused. Maybe even hurt. 

“Why not? Am I bothering you?” He questioned. 

“No! God, no, sorry! I just... I’m kind of a nobody in this town and people really like you so far... Maybe you should sit with someone.. I don’t know... cooler?” I explained. 

Mark was finally the one speechless. My face grew extremely hot again as he stared at me for a minute. 

“Ethan, I don’t care about what anyone thinks about me sitting with you.” He finally stated. 

For some reason hearing him say that made me happy, so I smiled at him. 

“Is there anything you two would like to share with the class?” came a voice from the front of the room. Mark and I shifted our gazes to the white board and realized Ms. Jones was talking to us. 

“Sorry” Mark answered for us. I stared stupidly. The teacher stared back for a moment before nodding and continuing the lesson. 

I thought that would be the end of our conversation for the day, but Mark always seemed to surprise me. After a moment of silence, I heard a paper being ripped from a notebook beside me. Mark wrote “hi” and drew a smiley face at the top before sliding it over in front of me. I tried to hold back the laughter I felt bubbling in my chest. 

“Hey” I wrote back. 

And so we talked. About nothing in particular. He complained about how boring this class was and I defended it telling him Art is my favorite subject. He asked about the girl sitting across the aisle from us so I explained that her name was Amy and she’s very nice but just as shy as me. Then he asked what I was doing tonight and I told him I had more geometry homework. He questioned if I was riding the bus home and explained that he wouldn’t be on the bus this afternoon because he had football practice. We doodled back and forth and played Tic-Tac-Toe and all too soon the bell rang. 

I collected my things as Mark folded up our note and stuck it inside his notebook. I didn’t know whether I was supposed to say goodbye to him or not, so instead I just turned to leave. Mark grabbed my forearm the way he did yesterday and when I turned back around he looked less confident than I had ever seen him, which made my stomach do a flip. 

“Do you have a cell phone?” 

“Uh, yeah.” I answered. 

“Do you wanna trade numbers or something? You know, just in case you need help with your homework?” 

“Sure” I said clumsily pulling out my phone and handing it to him. 

He handed me his phone and I tried to keep my hands from shaking as I typed in my name and number. When he handed me my phone back I checked the contact and saw that he had typed in his name “Mark Fischbach 😛 (neighbor).” I almost laughed at the idea of him needing to remind me he was my neighbor.. not to mention I was trying not to read into the emoji too much. I looked up and realized he was grinning at me again. 

“Have a good afternoon, Ethan. Don’t hesitate to text me if you need help with that homework.” 

“Have a good, uh, practice, or whatever.” I cringed at myself internally again and begged my brain to learn how to communicate with him. 

He smiled though and gestured for me to leave the classroom first. We maintained eye contact as I walked passed him. And then I walked to the bus by myself.


	4. The Day We Exchanged Numbers Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to try to stop breaking chapters into parts like I have been, but honestly I’ve been uploading as I go, so we’ll see what happens.

*Mark’s POV*

After practice I was sore. Extremely sore. Worse than I ever had been after practices at my old school. Coach Scott was no joke. I showered in the locker room and headed to the front of the school to find my ride. My brother was sitting out front in his shitty pickup truck. I hopped in and immediately turned off the radio. I was not about to listen to Ed Sheeran. 

“Hey!” Tom shouted. 

“I’m not listening to that shit, Tom.” I said rolling my eyes and smiling. 

“He’s good! You wouldn’t get it. You aren’t in love.” 

I sucked in a breath. We’d only been living here for two months and Tom had already met a girl at the local coffee shop. They were both attending the community college in town and I guess they hit it off pretty well. I’m happy for him of course, but until yesterday I was feeling very lonely. I spent most of the summer alone in the new house, playing video games with my friends from home. But yesterday I met him. Ethan. I mean, I met a lot of people yesterday. But when I saw him, my heart skipped. 

“...so what do you think?” I heard from beside me. 

“About what?” I questioned, realizing I had missed what my brother said up until that point. 

Tom gave me a look. “Are you okay?” He asked sincerely. 

“Yeah sorry. Just zoned out.” But I wasn’t “zoned out.” Not really. My brain was just trying to figure out the best way to convince Ethan to hang out with me. It seemed dumb and cliché to insist that I help him with his homework, but I didn’t know how else to ask. So I hadn’t. And I hated myself for not being brave enough to just text him and ask him to come over. 

“You’re doing it again.” Said Tom from beside me. 

“Oh. Sorry.” I stated lamely. 

He paused for a moment. “Are you sure you’re okay?” 

“Yeah. I’m fine.” And that was the end of the conversation. I turned the radio back up so he’d stop asking me. The truth was that I wasn’t really fine. I was kind of having a small crisis. I was crushing hard on a guy. This had never happened to me before. At least, not like this. The only time I’d previously liked a guy like this, it was Zac Efron, which doesn’t exactly count. I hadn’t quite figured out how to “come out” yet either. I think Tom probably knew from the time when he borrowed my laptop and I hadn’t deleted the search history... I still hadn’t properly apologized for that... But my mom? I don’t think she has any clue and I have no idea what she’d think about it if she knew. We’ve never talked about it. Homosexuality, I mean. She’s a very quiet woman. She spends most of her time in the kitchen, cooking and singing to herself. But she’s fairly “traditional.”

We pulled into the driveway and I immediately went upstairs to change into some sweatpants. It was only 6 pm and I didn’t feel like playing video games, so I sat on my bed and scrolled through social media. Mentally though, I was thinking about the pros and cons of texting Ethan. Eventually, I broke down and found myself typing a message. 

I sent “How’s the homework going?” before I even really thought about what I was doing. Then I held my breath waiting for a response. 

Thankfully, I didn’t have to wait that long. Ethan sent back, “Not great. How was practice?” right away. I tried not to hope this was a sign he was even slightly interested too. 

“I’m sore. But other than that it was fine. Do you need help?” 

This time he didn’t respond for a few minutes. But when he did, the text read “That’s okay. I’m sure you’re busy.” 

I chuckled. I haven’t been busy since we moved here. “I’m not. Wanna hang out? Bring your homework and then maybe stay for dinner?” 

*End Mark’s POV*

*Ethan’s POV*

I stared at my phone taking deep breaths and trying not to panic. I mean, I could really use help on this homework and I think I want to hang out with Mark... but should I? What if I embarrass myself? More than I already have I mean. But if it works out, having a real friend might be... nice. 

Finally, I send back “Okay. Now?” and chew my finger nails as I wait for him to text back. 

“Yeah sure! :)” He responds. 

So I start packing up my backpack. I head downstairs and find my mom in her office. “Hey, I’m going to the neighbor’s house. He offered to help me with my homework.” I tell her. She quickly turns around in her office chair and I hold back a groan. I knew she’d do this. 

“Who?” She’s shocked of course. I’ve never gone to anyone’s house before. 

“His name is Mark. His family moved into the Robertson’s house this summer... he goes to school with me.” I mumble. 

“Oh.. okay. When will you be home?” 

“After dinner I guess, I’m not sure.” 

Finally she seems to collect herself, because she smiles and starts nodding. “Okay, have fun, love you!” 

I roll my eyes but yell “love you too” as I walk out the front door. 

I texted Mark as I was walking over letting him know I was on my way because I really didn’t want to have to knock on the front door. Unfortunately, he didn’t respond so he must not have been looking at his phone. This really didn’t help the nervousness I was experiencing. I took a deep breath as I climbed the stairs to his porch. I knocked with the most confidence I could manage, which wasn’t much. 

Unfortunately, Mark didn’t answer the door. I mean, the guy looked just like Mark, except he was definitely older. 

“Uh hi, is Mark here?” I asked stupidly. Of course he’s here you dumb ass, my brain screamed at me. 

“Yeah! Come in. MARK SOMEBODY IS HERE FOR YOU!” He yelled into the house as he opened the door wide enough for me. 

I heard footsteps thundering down the stairs immediately. When he reached the bottom he wore a huge smile and ... sweatpants. Damn, he looked really good in sweatpants. ...Did I really just think that? Fuck. 

“Hey! Come on up!” He said gesturing me up the stairs. I nodded and walked the short distance across the living room. I noticed that Mark and his brother were having some sort of weird staring contest, smiling at each other, as I walked to the stairs but neither one of them said anything so I just kept walking. Mark gestured for me to go up the stairs first, so I passed him, awkwardly close, and tried not to trip going up the stairs. It was going to be a long afternoon.


	5. The Day of the First Football Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is basically writing itself.

That afternoon actually didn’t feel long at all. Mark and I both did our homework in comfortable silence for the most part. Every now and then he’d check on me, asking if I needed help with a question. Most of the time the answer was yes, so i’d nod my head and Mark would make his way across the room and work out the problem with me. When we finished our homework, Mark asked if I liked video games and we ended up playing Mario Kart for an hour. Somehow I got a surge of confidence and was able to talk and joke with him the whole time. I had never been so impressed with myself. 

At around 8 pm, Mark’s brother came and got us for dinner. It was later than I was used to eating, so I was starving. I met Mark’s mom and she was super nice. She didn’t speak much which was fine with me, because that meant I didn’t have to speak much either. The dinner was a little awkward because Tom and Mark were the only two talking for the most part. When it was time for me to leave we went upstairs to grab my backpack and Mark kept looking at me. He was looking at me like he wanted to say something or was expecting me to or some shit, but I didn’t know what he wanted. So I just said, “Thanks Mark, ya know, for the tutoring.” He smiled and nodded. And with that I turned and headed back down the stairs. Mark followed me out of the house on to his front porch and when I started walking home, I glanced back and saw him waiving. I waived too and when I got home I noticed he was still on his front porch. He had watched me walk home. 

That, however, was over a week ago. It was now Friday of the second week of school and other than the exchanged good mornings at the bus stop and the occasional note passing in Art, Mark and I haven’t really talked. Not that I really care of course... except I kind of do. I had a really fun time at Mark’s and I was starting to wonder if I had said something dumb and made him mad or upset. But I’m sure if I had, he would’ve said something, right? This morning, however, Mark invited me to the first football game of the season. Or rather, he asked if I was going and said he wanted me to be there. 

“Good Morning Ethan.” A voice behind me said. 

I turned around smiling, but as soon as I took in his appearance my smile dropped and I started sweating. “Hey. What’s with the?” I gestured up and down at him. He was wearing a button up shirt, tie, and dress pants. He had the sleeves of the button up rolled to his elbows and he looked GOOD. 

“Oh this? It’s nothing. Coach Scott wants us to dress up on game days. Something about looking good makes us play good or some shit like that.” He stated grinning. 

I was gawking at him for second. “Oh” I say. “Well, looks good.” Immediately my face is burning with heat, so I look away trying to hide it.

Mark chuckles beside me. “Thanks Ethan.” He sounds sincere. “Are you coming to the game?” 

“Uh, I wasn’t really playing on it.” I stated honestly. 

“Why not?” Mark said sounding distraught. 

“Well, I don’t really have anyone to go with. I guess I could ask Mika but...” I let my voice trail off. 

“Oh. Well if you find someone, I’d really love to see you there.” 

And then the bus pulled up. 

At lunch today, in a rare turn of events, I was the one looking for Mika. Thankfully I found her at a table with Amy and a few other girls. I awkwardly walked up to them and asked for Mika to step outside with me alone. She agreed but looked very concerned.

“Is everything okay?” She asked once we were outside. 

“Yeah, I was just wondering if you were going to the game tonight? I kind of want to go.” 

She stared at me for second with a growing smile on her face. “Look at you turning over a new leaf. Yeah, I’m going. Text me and I’ll meet you there, okay?” I nodded and with that she walked back into the cafeteria. 

In Art, Mark and I didn’t talk about the upcoming game. He seemed to be growing more nervous about it as the time went on. So we talked about the upcoming art project. He wanted to try pottery and I wanted to sketch a full body. I’d never done that before. Amy overheard us talking and offered to help Mark with his pottery piece. She told us she does pottery as a hobby and has everything at her house. Mark thanked her and they smiled at each other as they exchanged numbers. I felt kind of sick watching the interaction, but I didn’t want to analyze why. 

Mark didn’t walk with me to the bus because he had practice again after school. So I put my headphones in and tried to calm my nerves. I had never been to any school sporting event before and I was dreading it. I would have never gone if Mark hadn’t said he wanted me there. 

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay sweetie? You’re shaking like a leaf.” My mom questioned as she dropped me off in the school parking lot. 

“I’m fine.” And I probably was. But I was also shaking. And sweating. “I’ll text you when it’s almost over. Love you.” I said as I climbed out of the car. 

“Love you!” I heard from behind me as I shut the door and walked away. 

Mika and I had texted back and forth and I knew she was already finding a seat in the stands. So I took a deep breath and walked to the football field. 

I found Mika towards the bottom of the stands sitting with Amy and a few others. When we made eye contact she hopped up and skipped over to me. She was wearing ripped jeans, a low-cut shirt, and black boots. She looked great. I suddenly felt self-conscious about not dressing up more. I wore a regular band t-shirt and blue skinny jeans. When Mika reached me she slipped her arm around mine and led me over to where everyone else was sitting. She was chattering about how she was so happy that I came and how she was going to buy me snacks from the concession stand because she was so proud of me for branching out like this. I didn’t want to tell her I only came because of Mark and I planned on going straight home instead of to the post-game bonfire. 

As Amy and Mika collected everyone’s orders and headed over to the concession stand, the team came out on to the field. They were all wearing their helmets so I couldn’t tell which one was Mark. Or at least, I couldn’t until they all jogged over to the bench right in front of me and took off said helmets. 

Mark looked really fucking good in his football gear. I let my eyes roam over him. When my eyes made their way back to Mark’s face, I realized Mark was watching me check him out. And then he winked.


	6. The Night of the First Football Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING/ DISCLAIMER: Under-age drinking is portrayed in this chapter. I do not condone under-age drinking IRL. 
> 
> Other than that, I made this one a bit longer so that’s fun.

Our team won. Actually, our team kicked ass. And Mark, as the quarterback, was a regular home town hero. The team had picked him up at the end and he was riding around the field on two guys shoulders whooping and laughing for a few seconds. 

At the moment, I was texting my mom to come pick me up when suddenly there was a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and standing there was Mark wearing the best smile I had ever seen. A chill went down my body starting at where Mark’s hand was placed and ending in the tip of my toes. 

“How’d you like the game?” Mark said with enthusiasm. 

“It was cool. Congrats on the win.” 

“Thanks! What are you doing now?” Mark questioned without removing the smile from his face. I was starting to think his face was stuck that way.

“Oh. Nothing I guess. I was about to text my mom to come pick me up.” 

“Oh.” Mark repeated, face falling. Apparently the smile wasn’t permanent. “Don’t you want to come to the bonfire? It’s supposed to be super fun.” 

“Uh, I don’t know. I’ve never really gone to anything like that. And I wouldn’t want my mom to have to come get me super late.” 

“Stay with me!” Mark said. “I mean... I borrowed my brother’s truck for the night.. you can ride with me and I’ll take you home after. Or you can just stay at my place. Whatever is easier.” 

My heart was suddenly beating out of my chest. Did Mark just ask me to spend the night? I hadn’t spent the night at anyone’s house other than family, ever. But I wanted to now. I just don’t know what my mom would think. “Um, let me ask my mom I guess?” 

“Sure yeah! No problem! I’m going to go shower really quick in the locker room. I’ll be back in a few!” Mark said turning towards the gym. Some of the football team members were still waiting for Mark on the field... looking at us with a funny expression. My face felt hot again. This friendship with Mark was definitely starting to draw some attention. Attention that I did not want. At all. 

I called my mom and tried to explain the situation confidently. I promised I would be smart and make good decisions, but I knew my mom would say yes because I never ask to go anywhere. Still, I was both glad and mad that she approved. There went my one way out of it. 

When Mark returned his hair was dripping and he smelled strongly of Axe Body Spray. And he was beaming. “You’re still here! Did your mom give you the okay?” 

“Yeah. I’m good to go.” 

“Cool! Well let’s go then!” Mark said as he put his arm around my shoulders and started leading me to the parking lot. I tried my hardest not to lean into Mark’s side as we walked. 

Once we climbed into the truck, I started to feel extremely nervous. My palms were sweating and I was repeatedly wiping them on my pants. Mark didn’t seem to notice thankfully. 

“So I just want you to be prepared, there is going to be drinking at this bonfire,” came Mark’s voice from beside me.

I scoffed. Sure I’m not really the social type but I’m not stupid either. “Yeah Mark, I know that.” I said exasperated. 

Mark looked over at me with an amused look on his face. “Sorry man! I just don’t know with you!” 

I was suddenly extremely embarrassed. What did Mark mean by that? 

“Anyways” Mark continued “If you want to drink or something feel free. I’m not going to though.” 

“Probably not a good idea.. I’ve never drank before.” I responded. 

“Maybe you should try it then. I mean, you don’t have to obviously, but at least you’d have someone sober to take care of you.” 

I pondered that thought for the rest of the drive there. 

Eventually Mark pulled up to a big empty field and I could see the fire from the road. Mark backed as far up to the fire as he could and cut the engine. Some guys from the football team started cheering when they saw who it was. I could hear my heart beating in my ears. Suddenly I felt a hand squeezing my knee. I looked over and Mark was giving me a reassuring smile. “It’s going to be fun. I promise.” I felt a strange tingle in my stomach from the tone of voice he used, but I nodded anyways. 

I trust Mark. Maybe that is odd considering we really haven’t been friends that long, but I trust him anyways. Finally, I opened the door of the truck and climbed out. Immediately someone was grabbing my hand and pulling me to the back of the truck. 

“What the fuck Ethan!” Mika whisper yelled in my ear as she continued to drag me backwards. 

“What?” I whispered back. 

“I didn’t know you and Mark were actually friends!”

“Sorry! I didn’t think it was a big deal.” I tried to explain. 

Mika rolled her eyes but dropped it. Her voice returned to a normal volume when she said “Okay. Do you want a beer?” 

I sucked in a breath, held it, and then blew out nodding my head a little. I was apprehensive, that’s for sure. But it’s okay to try things, right? Besides, Mark said he’d take care of me and I was staying the night with him, so I didn’t even have to worry about going home drunk and my mom being disappointed. Mika smiled wide as she pulled me over to a cooler, pulled out a beer, cracked it, and handed it to me. 

I put it to my lips and took a small sip. The face I made had Mika cracking up. I tried not to make the face again the second time. And slowly, it got easier. Mika pulled me towards the fire and we started dancing. She was actually a very good dancer. Slowly I felt myself starting to loosen up. The more I danced, the hotter it got, and the more I drank. Which meant more dancing. And it repeated until I found Mark who was currently talking to Amy. 

“Heeey Mark!” I slurred. Amy and Mark both stifled laughter. 

“Hey bud, how you feeling?” Mark questioned. 

“Good. Realllllly good. But... tired?”I mumbled out. Mark checked his watch.

“Are you ready to go?” I nodded so he said, “Okay, well it was good seeing you Amy!” and turned to the girl next to him and shot her a wink. Amy giggled and waved as she walked away. I was all the sudden very jealous. The feeling hit me like a train. 

So without thinking, I grabbed Mark’s hand.

*Mark’s POV* 

I’d been watching Ethan since we arrived. His friend, Mika I think her name is, snatched him as soon as we got here. So I made myself busy by talking to some of my teammates for a while. Eventually they were all way too drunk to hold a conversation anymore so I sat on the tailgate of my truck and watched Ethan dance. I felt eyes on me and turned slightly to see Amy looking at me. I smiled and waved her over. 

“Hi” She said as she walked up. 

“Hey! How’s your night going?” 

We talked about the game for a while before switching to the upcoming art project. We made plans for me to practice my pottery skills at her house in a week or so. Amy is so pretty and nice. I feel like she’s the type of girl my mother would want me to bring home. Too bad that’s never going to happen. I looked up searching for Ethan again. He’s stumbling around with Mika searching for another drink. I’m starting to get nervous about him being so close to the fire, but I don’t think I need to intervene just yet. When I looked back at Amy she had a knowing look on her face and she was grinning. 

“You like him.” Was all she said. 

I dropped my eyes to the ground but nodded a little. 

There was a moment of silence before she asked, “... does he like you?” I chuckled. 

“Not sure.” I replied honestly. “But it doesn’t matter anyways. This doesn’t seem like the town where everyone would be super accepting of that type of thing.” 

“Do you care?” Amy asked genuinely. 

“No I don’t. But he would.” I sigh. 

“Ah. I see.” She gives me a sympathetic look. 

Before either of us can say anything else Ethan let’s out a “Heeey Mark!” and staggers towards us. 

Amy and I exchange a glance and try not to laugh. 

“Hey bud, how you feeling?” 

“Good. Realllllly good. But... tired?” Ethan mumbled out. Oh shit. I hadn’t checked the time in a while. I looked down at my watch. 2 am. 

“Are you ready to go?” I asked him. He nodded. Well, I’m pretty sure it was a nod. It was more or a circling motion though. 

“Okay, well it was good seeing you Amy!” I said as I turned to her. I shot her a friendly wink. Amy giggled at the precarious situation she was leaving and waved as she walked away. 

Suddenly there was a pressure on my left hand. I looked down and realized Ethan was grabbing at my hand. A warmth spread across my chest but I tried to remind myself he was drunk and probably didn’t realize what he was doing. But I quickly wrapped my hand around his as I led him to the passenger seat of the truck. He was having a hard time climbing into the cab, so I reached down and grabbed him by his waist, hoisting him up. He gasped and when I was buckling him in, I noticed his face was bright red. He looked so cute like that. Shit. I was a goner.


	7. The Morning After and The Weeks That Followed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote two more chapters last night but the site was down so I couldn’t upload them lol.
> 
> This chapter is a bit short but the next one makes up for it!

I wake up and immediately feel sick. I’m also shivering and need water, like now. I try to sit up but the room starts to spin so I lie back down with a groan. Even in my hungover state I recognized that I wasn’t in my bed or even my own room for that matter. Putting the pieces together I start to look around for Mark. He’s on the floor with one pillow and a small blanket. “Mark” I call weakly. 

Mark’s eyes shoot open and within a second he’s at my side looking sympathetic. I groan again as the bed shifts under Mark’s weight, causing the room to spin some more. 

“You okay dude?” Mark asks. 

“Not really. I feel sick. And cold. And extremely dehydrated.” I say letting out a weak whimper.

“I’ll go get you some water.. and the bathroom trash can.”

And Mark did just that. He brought back a glass of ice water and set the empty bathroom trash can on the side of the bed. I drank nearly the whole glass before lying back down. 

“I’m so sorry Mark. I didn’t mean to drink that much and I definitely didn’t mean to kick you out of your bed.” Mark chuckled. 

“You didn’t kick me out of my bed. I just wanted you to be comfortable. And don’t worry about last night. I hope you had fun. I’m sorry if I pressured you into drinking.” 

“You didn’t. I wanted to try it.” My stomach rolled uncomfortably just thinking about it. “Never again.” I say, voice breaking with unshed tears. An intense shiver went through me at that moment. 

I could tell Mark felt terrible. I continued to shake uncontrollably and without any warning Mark crawled up beside me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “I’m sorry Ethan” he whispered. 

I would’ve been frozen with shock if not for the tremors. But regardless, I already felt so much better with Mark holding me. So I couldn’t explain it when I started sobbing. But Mark held on to me anyways and apologized over and over again. Eventually I realized I wasn’t crying because I felt sick, I was crying because I was so fucking confused. I didn’t make it home until midday and even if my mom didn’t say anything, I knew she knew what I did last night and she didn’t seem happy. 

After that night I made the decision to stop being friend’s with Mark. I would talk to him politely at the bus stop and even write back if he passed me a note in Art, but I was not going to hang out with him anymore. My feelings for him had reached an unsafe territory. 

It might sound dumb to say, but up until now I had never had a crush on anyone. I mean sure I found some people attractive, but I never actually liked them. This was new territory for me and I didn’t know how to handle it. And to top it off it was a gay crush in this small judgmental town. And worse of all? It was for a friend who was definitely straight.

Mark probably noticed I was avoiding him because every time he texted me asking if I wanted to come over and do homework or play video games I gave him some bullshit excuse for why I couldn’t. After about three weeks he stopped texting me. We still held polite conversation at the bus stop, but he didn’t pass notes to me in Art anymore. It was the first week of October when I knew for sure Mark had understood what I wanted, but it was still a giant slap in the face when he sat next to Amy in Art instead of me. 

I cried that afternoon on the phone with Mika. I confessed everything to her. I told her, without a doubt, that I was gay and my world was falling apart. How was I supposed to explain to my mother, a raging conservative, that I was gay? And how was I supposed to get over Mark? He’s one of two friends I’ve ever had and I’d never felt a pain like this. She listened to me sob and cooed soothing words through the phone. 

The following morning wasn’t any better. Over the morning announcements they announced that Mark was Homecoming King. Of fucking course he was. The whole school loves him, which was a painful reminder that Mark could easily forget about me. He didn’t need me as a friend because everyone was Mark’s friend. 

I sobbed again in the bathroom during lunch. Finally collecting myself, I left the stall and opened the door to head to my next class, but I bumped into someone when existing the bathroom. It was Amy. I tried really hard not to be mad at her for Mark’s sudden seat change, but my head was swimming with anger. 

“Oops, sorry Ethan!” She said politely. That made it worse. I stormed off in a rush without saying anything. 

Today just kept getting worse, but the icing on the cake came in Art class. That was when I heard Mark ask Amy to the homecoming dance which just proved my theory. Mark was definitely straight. 

I called Mika again that night.


	8. The Night of the Homecoming Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING/DISCLAIMER: There is marijuana usage in this chapter. I do not condone drug usage, especially by minors. Much of this story mirrors what my high school experience was like. I am simply projecting here.

I wasn’t going to go to the homecoming dance. I really didn’t feel up to it and I definitely wasn’t ready to see Mark and Amy together on a date. But unfortunately my mom really wanted me to go. And on top of that, Mika asked me to go with her and lately I felt like I owed her big time. She listened to me cry and feel sorry for myself on the phone every few nights at this point. So reluctantly, I was getting ready to go. The entire school was in a great mood after the football team won the homecoming game yesterday. I hadn’t gone to any games since the first one for obvious reasons, but I heard from Mika that it was a close game. 

My mom dropped me off in the parking lot of the school again because the dance was taking place in the gymnasium. Before I got out she gushed about how handsome I looked and how Mika was such a lucky girl to have a date like me. I almost snorted at the thought. Yes, Mika was so lucky to have a gay guy for a date. There was a pause before I got out and my mom asked “Are you okay sweetie? You’ve been acting differently lately...” 

“I’m fine mom. Don’t wait up. I’m staying at Mark’s again” I lie through my teeth and cringe slightly at the name. I’m staying with Mika in a tent. There was another bonfire happening tonight, but a lot of us were smarter this time and set up tents in the field to stay in that night. I had a small drawstring bag on my back with a change of clothes. 

“Okay, love you!” She calls out as I close the car door. 

“Love you too.” I called back as I began trudging my way to the gym. 

When I find Mika standing outside the gym I do a double take. Mika looks AMAZING wearing a short red sequined dress and if I was any straight man in the vicinity, I’d be very jealous of me right now. She looks me up and down as well and I feel my face heating up. “Damn Ethan. You clean up well” she says with a grin. 

“Look who’s talking.” I shoot back and I actually feel like smiling for the first time in weeks. 

Once inside the gym I go to the locker room to put my bag away and when I come back out they’re the first thing I see. Mark and Amy dancing together. They both look great. Amy is in a flowy pink dress and Mark his usual button up with the sleeves rolled up but this time he has a vest on too. I huff a sigh and make my way back to Mika. 

The dance kind of sucked. It was hot and a lot of people were dancing on each other in ways I don’t think I ever would in public. However, it ended nearly as soon as it had begun and soon enough Mika and I were in the back of some random kid’s car who Mika had convinced to take us to the bonfire field with him. 

Once there, I started having flashbacks of the last time and suddenly I felt really nervous again and wanted to go home. But instead I blurted out “I don’t want to drink” to Mika. She looked at me a little funny but said “Okay, so don’t” and shrugged. “There is another thing we can do though. Come. I’ll show you.” And with that she led me towards the fire. We stopped by our tent to drop our stuff off and then she grabbed me by the hand and led me to some kid who looked mildly familiar. Without even looking at us he passed Mika some little glass pipe. I gawked at her as she put her mouth on it, sucking in and eventually blew out a cloud of white smoke. 

“What the actual fuck is that Mika?” I said slightly too loud as she shushed me. 

“Weed, Ethan. It’s much easier on a first timer than alcohol. My dad even uses it medically so it can’t be that bad!” She stated. 

I couldn’t argue with that logic and honestly I had really wanted something to take my mind off the situation that was about to unfold tonight. Mark and Amy would probably be showing up any minute if they hadn’t already. So what did I do? I hit it, with Mika’s help. I felt better after one hit, but I hit it a few more times just for good measure. I coughed and choked a bunch, which was embarrassing, but it was making me feel better so I didn’t stop. After about ten minutes of smoking with Mika and some other random kids I didn’t know I felt great. Like I was floating. 

Unfortunately, I did not want to dance after that. I just wanted to lie in the grass and look at the stars. So that’s what Mika and I did. We sang along to the music that was playing and talked about everything and nothing. I started to convince myself I didn’t need Mark. Mika was shaping up to be a great friend and I felt happy again. Eventually Mika got up to get a drink. I watched as she walked over to the cooler and started talking with... Amy. No Mark in sight. Fine with me, I reminded myself. That was until I felt someone sit in the grass next to me on my other side. I slowly turned my head and there sat Mark looking straight ahead instead of at me. 

I clenched my fists and waited for him to say something. I really didn’t want to talk to him but I couldn’t tell him to go away. So I waited. 

“I just wanted to apologize... If I made you uncomfortable that day, I’m really sorry.” 

I was shocked and felt terrible. Mark was blaming himself for my sudden distance. 

“No Mark, it’s not you. Please don’t apologize. I’m just... going through some stuff.” Mark nodded in understanding. 

“Okay.. I miss talking to you.” Mark confessed. 

I could physically feel my façade starting to crack. I missed talking to Mark too. I missed Mark as my FRIEND. 

I huffed and began tearing up. I really didn’t want to cry tonight but here I was doing it anyways. Mark squeezed my knee reassuringly, just like he had before the last bonfire. I leaned back and looked up at the stars as I continued to cry. Mark eventually leaned back too and we laid there staring at the sky. 

“Nobody knows what happened, if that’s what you’re worried about.” I laughed a little. I didn’t really think Mark would tell anyone, but it was still funny to hear him say that like it was some dirty secret that he held me while I cried over a hangover. Except, I guess it was. He was wrong though. Mika knew. But I didn’t know whether I should tell him that I told her, so I didn’t. 

At some point I had fallen asleep and was woken up by Mika shaking me and telling me to get in the tent. When I looked over, Mark was gone. But I was pretty sure we were friends again.


	9. The Night of the Homecoming Dance Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long to update! I lost all motivation very suddenly and got it all back like yesterday so hi again. lol.

*Mark’s POV*

I really don’t know what I was thinking that morning when I climbed into bed with Ethan. I just felt so fucking bad that he was miserable. It was my fault he drank. I had pressured him a little. I shouldn’t have even mentioned it. And there he was, laying in my bed, shivering and almost throwing up. So I climbed in and wrapped my arms around him like my mom would when I was sick as a kid, because it was all I knew how to do. And Ethan had accepted it in the moment. But Monday morning everything had changed. 

He didn’t talk to me for weeks. He would hold polite, but tense, conversation with me at the bus stop. He would write a word or two back on the notes I passed him. But I knew I had fucked up the friendship we had going.

I’m not sure if Ethan had even considered me potentially not being straight, but obviously the cat was out of the bag at this point. I really couldn’t get a read on him, but it didn’t matter. He clearly would never be in a relationship with me publicly or anything like that. So I was trying to let it go. I started spending more time with Amy to work on the art project coming up. She was sympathetic about Ethan ghosting me, but I didn’t tell her why. I was pretty sure Ethan wouldn’t want anyone to know. She’s so nice, pretty, and talented. The perfect girl really. But I couldn’t force myself to be interested. 

After a few weeks had passed I stopped reaching out to Ethan. He clearly wasn’t interested in being friends anymore so I stopped trying. Besides, Amy and I were getting closer and I was really enjoying her company. So I switched seats in Art. And I asked Amy to Homecoming. I needed a date because, somehow, I won Homecoming King. It’s a stupid concept really because it’s extremely superficial, but I still didn’t want to go alone if I had to go. I’m sure Amy would’ve rather gone with someone interested in her, but she said yes regardless and for that I was extremely grateful. 

We won the homecoming game by a few points, not as many as I would’ve liked, but a win is a win. The whole team was riding a high and ready to celebrate. Amy and I left the dance early to head to the bonfire. When we got there I immediately spotted Ethan. He was... smoking weed with Mika. I suddenly didn’t feel so bad about his night of drinking after the first game. Clearly he was wanting to try things. I tried to ignore him as I spent the night dancing with Amy and even drinking a little. I’m not supposed to drink because of some health issues, but every now and then I let myself have one or two. As we headed to the cooler to grab another drink, Mika started walking up. Before I could form a thought, Amy whispered in my ear “now is your chance” and shoved me in Ethan’s direction. I took a deep breath and walked to the man who was sitting in the grass, plopping down next to him. He smelled like weed but I tried to ignore it. 

“I just wanted to apologize... If I made you uncomfortable that day, I’m really sorry.” I said. 

Ethan looked surprised. 

“No Mark, it’s not you. Please don’t apologize. I’m just... going through some stuff.” I nodded my head even though I didn’t really understand. 

“Okay.. I miss talking to you.” I confessed.

I could tell from the sparkle in his eyes that he started tearing up. Maybe he did have other things going on that I just didn’t know about. Eventually, Ethan leaned back and continued to cry while looking up at the stars. So I followed his lead and leaned back too. 

“Nobody knows what happened, if that’s what you’re worried about.” I told him. I wanted him to know I would never tell anyone if he didn’t want me to. 

He laughed a little, which made me smile. And then we were silent again. Many minutes had passed silently when I finally looked over at Ethan. 

He was asleep. I chuckled and got up, walking back to Amy and Mika who were still hanging out by the cooler. I could tell they had been watching us, but when I made my way back they didn’t pry. I did get many strange looks from my team members though. I needed to be more careful about the public interactions I had with Ethan, for his sake. 

My brother texted me letting me know he was here to pick Amy and I up. Amy and Mika said their goodbyes and I grabbed Amy’s hand as we made our way towards the road. She leaned into me, stumbling a little. It was reminiscent of that night with Ethan and my throat started to tighten up. Amy leaned closer to me and said “I normally wouldn’t tell you this, but I think you need to know. He thinks you’re straight.” 

“-wha?” I said unintelligently. 

“Yeah. He thinks we’re a couple. And if we keep doing stuff like this”, she said holding our hands out, “it’s not going to help.” 

“Oh.” Was all I was able respond. It didn’t make any sense. How could he still think I was straight? I held him. Do straight guys hold their friends? 

“You’re going to have to make a move. An obvious one.” She continued. 

Amy didn’t know about me holding him, so she doesn’t understand that I’ve already made a move. I nod anyways because I can’t explain. My tongue feels heavy in my mouth. I can’t comprehend what this all means at the moment. 

“Does he like me?” I ask even though I’m unsure if she’ll answer. 

Amy hesitates. “Mika thinks so.” She finally responds. 

I suddenly feel a lot lighter. Like I’m floating. Amy notices that I’m smiling and she giggles. 

Finally, we make it to my brother’s truck. Tom laughs at the sight of us, but I can see the confusion in his facial features. He’s definitely wondering why I went to Homecoming with Amy.

*End Mark’s POV*


	10. The Day They Remembered My Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Mention of anxiety/panic which messed me up pretty bad when I was writing it. 
> 
> Long weekend means more chapters :)

*Ethan’s POV*

On Monday morning I stood at the bus stop with my headphones in trying to act naturally, despite my heart attempting to beat out of my chest. I really didn’t know what to think. I wanted to be friends with Mark, but I couldn’t ignore that I was also painfully into him. And he was straight. And he might have a girlfriend now. 

I huffed a sigh reminding myself that I needed to focus on behaving like a good friend. I missed having Mark as a friend. It’s not like I have a ton of those. 

I heard his heavy steps coming up the dirt road and turned to watch him walk up next to me. He immediately smiled at me, so I waved and smiled back. I couldn’t quite manage any words, but this is still the best greeting we’ve had in weeks. He seemed to notice too because he immediately attempted conversation.

“Hey Ethan. How ya feeling?” 

“I’m great. How are you?” 

“Not too bad myself. How was the rest of your weekend?” 

“Boring. You?”

“Amy helped me with the art project yesterday. I’ve finally finished it.” 

“Oh yeah? That’s... good.” I struggle to get the words out. I wasn’t ready to talk about their relationship, but I wasn’t going to stop him. 

“Yeah she’s such a nice girl. My mom loves her. Too bad she’s not really my type.” Mark states, staring directly into my eyes. 

I drop my gaze. What the hell does that mean? “Yeah, too bad. She’s great.” I mumble. I guess they aren’t together then. I wish I wasn’t feeling relieved. 

The bus has the best timing. It pulls up in front of us and Mark walks up to the door, stopping to allow me to get on first, like always. I sit in my usual spot, turning to watch Mark walk to the back. He sits alone today. This time, he catches me looking. My heart stops for a second and I hold my breath as my cheeks heat up. But Mark grins, pulling his hand up so I can see it over the seatback in front of him, and does the “come here” motion with two fingers. The bus had already started moving so normally I wouldn’t dare, but with the way Mark is looking at me I really don’t have a choice. I get up and move back to him quickly. My face is extremely hot and i’m trying to ignore the way everyone is watching me. Or at least I feel like they are. 

When I finally reach Mark, I plop down next to him with a sigh of relief. He’s smiling at me. 

“Hey..” I sigh out suddenly feeling extremely awkward. 

“Nice of you to join me for once.” Mark says cheekily. 

I chuckle and shoot back with “I don’t like the back of the bus.” 

“Or the back of the class.” Mark states in a casual tone. But the comment catches me off guard. He noticed that? 

“Yeah. Or that.” I add lamely. 

He changes the topic though. “Hey listen, Amy told me that Mika said your birthday is this weekend.” He says, oddly excited. 

“Yeah it is. Saturday actually. I didn’t know Mika knew.” I say, a bit confused as to why this is even a topic of conversation. 

“Are you busy? A haunted maze opened up just outside of town and we were wondering if you’d want to go for your birthday. Do you like that kind of stuff?” 

I’m genuinely shocked. I haven’t spent a birthday with friends since I was in primary school. I must take too long to answer because Mark adds, “Only if you want to of course. We could do something else if you want. Or if you’re busy...” He trials off scratching his neck awkwardly. 

“No! That sounds... great honestly. I’m just surprised is all.” I admit. 

Mark is wearing a huge smile. “You do like that kind of stuff right? Mika wasn’t sure.” 

Honesty, I don’t love scary stuff, but I didn’t want to have to go to the movies or dinner or something stupid like that, so I tell Mark it’s fine. It probably will be. 

“I mean, if you get scared, I’ll be there.” He says in a overly flirty tone, flexing his arms so I can see his biceps. 

I roll my eyes at him and look down trying to keep the blood from rushing to my face again. 

The rest of the week passed quickly, and suddenly it was Saturday morning. My mom woke me up with a cake singing happy birthday. She was so happy when I told her I’d be going out with friends for my birthday. 

It’s barely lunch time and I’m already feeling nervous about tonight. Mark’s brother Tom offered to drive Mark & I to the haunted maze and Amy and Mika are going to meet us there. Everything is already planned and I know I shouldn’t, but I really want to back out. I’m starting to feel anxious so I text Mika. 

“I don’t think I should come tonight.” I send in a panic. 

“What? Why?” She sends back immediately. 

“I’m not good with scary things. I should’ve said no. I’m so sorry.” 

I feel terrible when she doesn’t respond. She’s probably mad. Mark and Amy are going to be so mad too. I started genuinely slipping into dangerous panicky territory when suddenly there is a knock on the front door. I walked over and open it. Standing there is Mark. 

“Hey. Sorry I didn’t text first. Mika called and said you don’t want to go anymore?” Mark questions sounding just as panicked as I was. 

“I’m so sorry Mark. I’m feeling super nervous about it. I should’ve said no and maybe we could’ve made other plans.” I spit out quickly. 

Mark’s face changes to a more understanding, calm expression. 

“Ethan. It’s just actors and they can’t touch you. And I’ll be there. And Mika. And Amy. You can be in the middle of the group if that’ll help. But if you really don’t want to go, you don’t have to. It’s your birthday.” 

I could tell he was trying not to be disappointed. I was feeling so torn. I wanted to go, but I didn’t want to embarrass myself either. But I found myself nodding and saying “okay.” 

Mark asked my mom if I could stay the night with him after because we wouldn’t get back until late. My mom agreed readily but I saw a momentary suspicious look on her face, which was interesting. I wonder what she thinks we do when I spent the night at Mark’s. She probably thinks we drink since I came home hungover that one time...

All too soon Tom was driving us to meet Amy and Mika.


End file.
